My Essay About Proper School Behavior

A Guest Article Written By My Son At Age Eleven

Note: If I remember correctly, this essay was assigned as a behavioral consequence. I assume he was asked to reflect and write about what school is for and how he should conduct himself. Yes, he is being 100% sarcastic here. I have typed his essay exactly as written, including the line breaks.

By the way, he is autistic and has dysgraphia.

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So, why do we come to school?

We come to school to learn!

We come to school to be successful!

We come to school so we will shut up!¹

But you cannot achieve those things without obeying these 3 things.²

You must be respectful. So, what exactly does that mean? It means be nice to the teacher. Oh, no, you don’t have to do that! Just listen to her/him. Also, don’t piss³ the sub off. You will have to write an essay like me.

You must be responsible.

So what does that mean? It means treat the equipment (and your classmates) as you would have them/it treat you. So don’t break the cameras!⁴ Sheesh…

You must engage in learning. In other words, do the work! If you don’t, you…will not be successful in life, you will be dumb, and most importantly, you will get in trouble! So come on! Get to work!

Those are the things you need to do. Do them. Bye!

1. ” Shut up” was circled by the teacher, and she wrote a question mark next to it.

2. The teacher wrote “rules” under the word “things.”

3. “Piss” was circled by the teacher.

4. It was reported to me at the time that he kept fidgeting with the camera buttons in digital photography class. He was ultimately placed in a different class. I guess providing something else to fidget with was asking too much.